Steven

 It’s hard to talk about Steven because I don’t know how to start. I don’t think people understand the nature of his injuries and we’re all learning together. When Steven fell he broke his C5 Spinal Vertebrae. This has resulted in quadriplegia. His spine is broken and he won’t ever be able to walk. It’s about seven months since his fall and he’s still breathing with the use of a ventilator and it’s a priority to get him breathing on his own. He has trouble breathing because he can’t use his lower diaphragm, complicating this is the fact that he’s very tall so his airway is longer. He has managed to stabilize an is starting to do well in his sub acute hospital. Because he has a tracheotomy in he can’t speak unless he has the aid of a speech valve. In order to be able to use the speech valve he has to be strong enough. He’s starting to gain weight but he’s still under 150. The most serious concern for any bed bound patient are pressure sores. His most serious wound has healed enough for something called Wound Vac that are put on  the wound to speed the healing. As for the use of his arms and hands that is still somewhat of an unknown. It’s possible the swelling around his spinal cord could go down but he can move his biceps and is a good candidate for rehab. He’s very strong and has lived though a lot because he wants to. He’s been given opportunities to rest but he wants to fight.

He’s so happy to be sober. He’s so happy to be alive.

We had only been married for a few months before the blizzard triggered a mental health crisis. We were snowed in, the town was snowed in and no one was getting their medications.. I was getting sick and disabled at an alarming rate and didn’t notice.  He and I have always had an agreement that as individuals our health came before anything else. During the three years we’ve been together we’ve taken a few breaks. Some of those breaks were because he wasn’t ready to be sober. During the times he was sober he had trouble trying to connect with people from his previous life and could be extremely distant with others. He was extremely secretive to others outside of the AA community. Steven only drinks when he has intrusive thoughts. These started for him in high school after there had been some family issues. These were compounded by Complex PTSD, Bipolar One and alcoholism. He never told anyone else about the depth of the mental health struggles he had been dealing with.

He had been sober for a significant amount of time, he felt good enough to start a new job and get remarried. Then he ran out of his meds.

Steven got sober briefly and it was enough to get the RV to Montana. When he got there he had trouble getting an appointment with a psychiatrist  to get back on his meds. 

 We were fighting the day he fell. I had not been able to reach him. Thankfully he contacted a member of his family and finally asked for help. When the police arrived he fell out of the RV. There’s no one to blame. It was a terrible accident but if he hadn’t fallen he would have died from alcohol poisoning.

His mood is positive and he’s still looking forward to his future that includes his son, his family and myself.