Retail Therapy

Retail Therapy 

Even on this imaginary mission to Mars, stress tags along. The silence of space doesn’t quiet the chatter of an ADHD brain, especially on the heavy days. That’s when I find myself reaching for a familiar coping mechanism: shopping.

It feels harmless at first—just one little click, then another. Each order becomes a tiny lifeline, a promise that something new is on its way. The anticipation itself is soothing, like radio signals beamed across millions of miles.

But then the packages land, and instead of joy I’m left with a stack of unopened boxes by the door. They remind me of supply pods dropped on the surface of Mars—useful, maybe, but overwhelming when they pile up.

This is where my new strategy comes in: I don’t open them right away. I let them sit until I feel steadier. Waiting gives me a pause in the ADHD impulse/reward cycle. Sometimes, when I finally do open them, I realize I didn’t actually need what’s inside but it’s ok. Other times, it feels like receiving a care package from myself—something I picked out on a harder day, now arriving in calmer weather.

A Rabbit Hole Called Dopamine

One of the most oddly comforting things has been learning the why behind this pattern. ADHD is closely tied to differences in how our brains regulate dopamine, the neurotransmitter that fuels motivation, focus, and the experience of reward. For people without ADHD, dopamine follows more consistent rhythms. For those of us with ADHD, it’s often irregular—like static in the communication system. Stress drains it even further, which is when the brain goes searching for a quick fix, whether through food, scrolling, or yes, shopping (Volkow et al., 2009).

Understanding this isn’t just trivia—it’s self-compassion. Suddenly the pile of boxes isn’t about weakness or lack of willpower. It’s about a nervous system trying to self-regulate in the fastest way it knows how. That realization takes some of the sting out of the guilt and gives me space to choose a different response.

The Power of a Name

Here’s something I wish more people knew: getting a core ADHD diagnosis, or any diagnosis, even later in life, can be life-changing. It’s like suddenly having a map for the terrain you’ve been stumbling across for years. Research shows that adults often go undiagnosed until middle age, especially women, and that receiving clarity about ADHD can bring both relief and better strategies for daily life (Kooij et al., 2019).

Having a name for what’s happening under the hood doesn’t erase the challenges, but it explains them. It lets me frame strategies (like leaving the boxes sealed for a while) not as odd quirks, but as intentional tools.

Tips from Mission Control 

If you’re on your own ADHD space mission, here are a few things that help keep the shopping satellites from spinning out of orbit:

• Delay the launch: Before hitting “buy now,” set a timer (even 10 minutes) and see if the urge shifts.
• Dock the boxes: Keep deliveries sealed until you’re in a calm headspace. Future-you will thank you.
• Chart your triggers: Notice what stresses spark the strongest shopping impulses—boredom, loneliness, overwhelm? That awareness is mission data.
• Seek alternate fuel: Swap the dopamine hit with something else—music, movement, creativity, or connecting with a friend.
• Trust your map: If you’re newly diagnosed (even later in life), let the science guide you. Understanding ADHD isn’t about excuses—it’s about navigation.

Out here on my way to Mars, I’m learning that survival isn’t about avoiding every mistake—it’s about finding small, workable strategies to keep going. Sometimes that means letting the boxes wait until I’m ready to meet them and enjoying the surprises that await me.