David Grohl

I had an extra hard week, or two, emotionally. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the ketamine sessions or if the strain of the last two years is starting to take a backbreaking toll. I've had a lot of highs with the equivalent depressions. 

Physically I'm doing well, my step count has gone way up in response to getting the ketamine infusions. Some specialty testing for my health issues are finally underway here in Alaska. I've finally started getting some things unfucked for Steven and I. I've been able to resolve the situation with the RV, unfortunately it's hard to say if our credit will recover from that. Someone I trust has access to our vehicles and will be putting eyes on our storage units soon. I should feel more relieved than I do. I don't know what I feel. 

Sad. I feel sad.

And I can't stop crying in front of people. There's nothing for it. I've seen six therapists in one year. It's life and life is savage. 

You have to feel all the feelings, the bad ones, the worse ones and occasionally the ones that will take your breath away and bring tears to your eyes. 

It feels like the bad times will never remember that David Grohl from the Foo Fighters sings that at times like these you learn to live again. 

I hope he's right.