So Tired

I’m so tired that I haven't been able to write.  I’ve been dealing with extreme fatigue since getting Epstein Barr Virus in college but I've managed pretty well but now I feel like I'm winding down. What is the fatigue level with EBV, Fibromyalgia, Lymes, MCAS and long covid? It's intense.  

I can’t seem to care about anything because I’m just so tired. Every hour drags because I’m struggling to be alert. I’m trying to remember I’m supposed to be resting, really resting. 

I’m thinking about Steven and everything that’s happened. 

(See previous posts) 

I’m ruminating about it 

Ruminating all the time.

I think about the difference between resiliency and surviving. Having resilience is a solutions based way to reframe events, surviving seems so much more passive but requires acceptance of  said event. It usually takes two years to recover from Post Covid Syndrome. Today that's twenty months. 

I wrote a poem about how tired I am to the song "I"m Too Sexy...". I'll allow you to imagine how that might sound. I'm so tired I lost the notebook where I wrote it. 

I'm so tired it hurts